Constantine - MOVIE - Review
Reviewer / The Ripper
Director / Francis Lawrence
Constantine / Keanu Reaves
Angela / Rachel Weisz
Date / 3.16.05
D+

Constantine is Warner Brothers adaptation of the DC comic "Hellblazer". What is Constantine about?

It's about 4 major special effects segments and 100 minutes of "other stuff". The "plot" revovles around one demon's attempt to enter our material plane. The demon son of Lucifer (Mammon) is collecting certain items so that he can materialize in our Earth plane.

Unfortunely, this part of the plot is not revealed until toward the end of the movie. So we get many scenes of a Mexican fellow walking toward Los Angeles with a spear, not knowing if this is a good or bad thing, all suspense lost. Keanu Reeves does a passable job as the irascible Constantine, but unfortunetly dooms the film. Apparently his pricetag forced the film producers to cut back on the special effects, the only bright spots in the movie. So we are left with no suspense, no horror, little action, and excellent (yet all to brief) special effects.

Further, be wary of any "extended" version of this film. The plot seems very choppy, probably editted away to cut down on the movies already too long 120 minute playtime. Any extended version is likely to slow the pace down even farther trying to explain a storyline only die hard "Hellblazer" readers are likely to care about anyway. My reccommendation would have been to cut alot more out, and try to liven up the pace to a more action oriented movie (like Blade).

My reccommendation; Read the "Hellblazer" comic while watching "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure". That way you get the best of Keanu Reeves and Constantine.

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POST MESSAGE
Why isn't `Much Ado About Nothing' listed? by The Super Novice    8.18.05
He was a man of few words, and we thank him.

 
Correction by The Boss    3.24.05
Assisstant Manager from "Time Out"!!
Get it right!

 
Deuces Wild by Anonymous    3.21.05
I dont have online games! *correction*(Assistant Manager from Cyberstation)

 
Asst. Manager from Cyberfun? by Bunny's Fan    3.21.05
If you are real, let's get together and play some games!

 
Deuces Wild by Anonymous    3.19.05
Assistant Manager from Cyberfun. LOL! I think thats a good review overall. Bill and Ted was a good movie though.

 
Woo-Hoo! by Mischief    3.18.05
That's right. Check out who is number 3 overall!!!

 
Re: Wow by ConnieFan    3.18.05
I think someone was trying to show who was #3.

 
Wow by BadKittyFan    3.17.05
Check out who's number 9 on the top scorers for our rollerhockey league.

http://www.rinksmart.com/asp/Locations/fs_location.asp?Location=RollinIce

Click on the Schedules/Standings tab.
Change the Choose Your Team drop-down box to Slow Motion and click Go.
Then click on Scoring.

 
Rachel vs Connie by ConnieFan    3.17.05
Well no duh dingleberry. Course Rachel is better lookin. Devil's Advocate was Connie's only real "hot" appearance. But... It was still way hotter than anything Rachel did in Constantine. Course, if your going to the movies just to see Rachel and fantasize 'bout her other flicks then I guess I can forgive ya.

 
Keanu Poll by Keanu Shemanu    3.17.05
If there was a choice for 'None of the Above', then I could vote in your Keanu Poll.

 
No, you're Crazy!!?! by RachelFan    3.17.05
Rachel Weisz is so much hotter than Connie Nielsen. Did you see her sex scene in Enemy At The Gates? And she was the star of the Mummy! What has Connie ever done that was even half as good? Gladiator? No. Deep Blue Sea? No way. Hands down Rachel Weisz is so much better to look at and she is the only reason I would watch Constantine.

 
Poll Question by ConnieFan    3.17.05
Well I don't see Devil's Advocate there for one.

 
Keanu Poll by Bunny's Fan    3.16.05
How come no one is voting on the Keanu Poll?

 
Are you Crazy?!? by ConnieFan    3.16.05
Connie Nielsen was hot in Devil's Advocate! Rachel Weisz was about as alluring as old playdough in Constantine. Devil's Advocate is hands down better!

 
nice review by jen    3.16.05
alright ripper! nice review, even though i liked the movie.

of course, i do have a slight bias towards keanu. any keanu movie is a good movie to me.

 
Devil's Advocate by Bunny's Fan    3.16.05
I would say that this movie was better than Devil's Advocate.

 
 

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The Verdict
D+
Game Info
  • Released: February 2005
  • Genre: Action / Horror
  • Price: $10
  • Rating: PG-13
What We Think
  • The Catch: Keanu Reaves will draw in the women.
  • Bottom Line: Could have been better pacing
 

 

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