Crash - MOVIE - Review
Reviewer / Bill Smallwood
Director / Paul Haggis
Starring / Sandra Bullock
Starring / Don Cheadle
Date / 9.28.05
D-
Bad

I saw this "movie" partly because of the sheer number of good reviews at Netflix, and from it I leaned a valuable lesson. Not a lesson about ethnic diversity however...the lesson I learned is "Don't trust reviews".

Yes, racism sucks and people are complicated, but the people who actually need to see this movie are going to be the ones who are the least drawn to it and least affected by it if they DO see it. The only reason that I can think of for the number of good reviews is that it's being reviewed by people who aren't used to thinking, or who've seen their first thought-provoking movie and somehow think that Haggis invented the concept. In fact, he basically made this film, which should be called "Racism For Dummies", as emotionally wrenching as possible, seemingly to give people who don't spend alot of time thinking the impression that they've discovered some fundamental truth that's never been covered in a film before. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintanence it's not... An after-school special for the unthinking masses, cut into bite-sized overwrought hamfisted pieces to make it easier to swallow without too much introspection.



It's as if they portrayed everyone as being the worst possible extreme, simply to make us happy that we're such good people because we don't identify with the characters. Let's face it people. NOBODY identifies with these characters because they're all cardboard cutouts and stereotypes (or predictably reverse-stereotypes). It's well acted (even if the dialogue is atrocious) and cleverly executed, so much that you don't think to ask "where's the beef?" until you can tell the film is winding down. The flaming car scene was well executed, like much of the movie, but went nowhere in the end. The messages are very heavy-handed, and from the "behind the scenes" blurb, the producers were clearly watching a different movie, because there is very little to laugh about in this movie, even during the intended funny parts. I have to stress that this is NOT entertainment, more like a high school diversity lesson...call it the "Blood on the Highway" of racism. They could even show this in high schools if it weren't for the "side-nude" shot of Jennifer Esposito.

I love Don Cheadle, but after seeing he produced this movie, I'm starting to wonder why he'd think this film was worth releasing. Not even an appearance from Marina Sirtis from Star Trek TNG (who's practically unrecognizable) could make me like this movie, not that I knew she was in it til my wife pointed her out to me. In this film, everyone's a jerk and everyone learns their lesson except for Michael Pena who gets the best role, but the most predictable storyline.

Also, the tagline about "post 9/11" is misleading, as there's only a single slurred slur about "flying 747s into mudhuts" and no other actual mention of the event throughout the entire film. I can't even recommend this film as an exercise in film making, as it's structurally a ripoff of Robert Altman's "Shortcuts", which is a far superior film. This is a bad film, with bad writing, and good actors....an ugly cartoon crafted by Paul Haggis for people who can't handle anything but the bold strokes in storytelling....a picture painted with crayons.

Haggis' work, like his namesake, would even be hard to stomach in concept, but with a plate of it steaming in front of you, would be enough to make any thinking person want to vomit. I want the 2 hours of my life I spent watching it back, plus the 3 that followed in which I was trying to banish this trite film from my memory. A depressing nothing that provokes emotion, but teaches you nothing if you already know racism and prejudice are bad things.

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POST MESSAGE
Officer Hanson by Philippephile    10.8.05
This was, however Ryan Philippe's best movie!

 
sandra bullock by sanrda's fan    9.30.05
dude, she still is hot. i think i'm going to go watch demolition man again.

 
great review! brilliant by teh jaysores    9.30.05
using the word hamfisted in a review always scores points.

This movie, like much of sandra bullock's recent crap, will not be viewed by me.

pity- she used to be so hot.

 
 

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The Verdict
D-
Game Info
  • Released: Summer 2005
  • Genre: Drama
  • Price: $10
  • Rating: PG-13
What We Think
  • Description:

    A 36-hour period in the diverse metropolis of post-Sept. 11 Los Angeles is the theme of this unflinching drama that challenges audiences to confront their prejudices. Lives combust when a Brentwood housewife and her district attorney husband, a Persian shopkeeper, two cops, a pair of carjackers and a Korean couple all converge. Director Paul Haggis's gritty film stars Sandra Bullock, Brendan Fraser, Don Cheadle, Matt Dillon and Jennifer Esposito.

 

 

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