Brought to you by the makers of Fuckin Bullshit and Primary Eating Establishments, Friggin MP Incorporated is proud to present the new piece of gaming gear that all good gamers must have.

Does it slice? NO.

Does it dice? NO.

Does it at least whisper sweet nothings in the middle of the night? NO!

I am sure you are asking, wtf does it do.

Introducing the new Jar of Shame (not to be confused with the Cup of Denial).. Sure it looks like an empty mayonnaise jar. Sure it smells like someone peed in it. Sure I found it lying around the house, but it does so much more.

Rule #1 - If you shoot your own teammate, you have to put 25 cents into the jar. (Note if you shoot at your own teammate and you miss, there is no charge. This is known as the Kara Accord.)

Rule #2 - If you kill your own teammate, you have to put $1.00 into the jar. (Also referred to as pulling a Karl.)

Rule #3 - Excessive noise is a 25 cents infraction. (Superstar will be the judge on noise volume. If she bangs on her bedroom wall, all gamers engaged in loud noises owe the jar 25 cents.)

Rules #4, 6, 7 - yet to be determined. Please send in suggestions so they can be reviewed and ridiculed.

What is the purpose of this Jar that is sweeping the nation? After we fill up the Jar (which will be in approximately 3 weeks), we spend the money on a new game, new chairs, or even new snacks. Imagine, a house funded from fines. Buy one now from Gamelord.org.

Coming soon to a website near you: The Hat of Shame, and the Toilet of Confusion.

--Mischief